in the pursuit of relentless happiness....

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive

tastefullyoffensive:

[diamondcomedy]

"Do you have a better book title for Dune?"

Asked by kevorkianesque

betterbooktitles:

Yep!

Title and Redesign by Rentz Leinbach.

thefrogman:

[reddit]

Reblogged from thefrogman

thefrogman:

[reddit]

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

Reblogged from loloschucks

loloschucks:

psychedelicpuss1cat:

narputo:

geeksquadgangbang:

Sarah Silverman is visited by Jesus Christ

This is one of the best responses to men against abortion ever

omfg

i need that shirt

I adore this woman……  And not ONLY because she’s Vanellope von Schweetz…..

Reblogged from eroy

hdeangelis:

soullessdaria:

emtstitch:

emtstitch:

turkeytree:

chelseaalysse:

"Everything in my head went quiet. 

All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared. 

When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments. 

Even in bed, I’m thinking: 
Did I lock the doors? Yes. 
Did I wash my hands? Yes. 
Did I lock the doors? Yes. 
Did I wash my hands? Yes. 
But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.. 
Or the eyelash on her cheek- 
the eyelash on her cheek- 
the eyelash on her cheek. 
I knew I had to talk to her. 
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds. 
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going. 
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or talking to her.. 
But she loved it. 
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times at different times of the day. 
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk. 
When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely lock the door eighteen times. 
I’d always watch her mouth when she talked- 
when she talked- 
when she talked- 
when she talked; 
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges. 
At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off. 
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her. 
But then.. She said I was taking up too much of her time. 
That I couldn’t kiss her goodbye so much because I was making her late for work.. 
When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.. 
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking.. 
And last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place. 
She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but.. 
How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her? 
Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t. 
I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her. 
Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. 
I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars.. 
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on. 
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.. 
How she turns shower knobs like she opening a safe. 
How she blows out candles- 
blows out candles- 
blows out candles- 
blows out candles- 
blows out-…. 
Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. 
I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once-he doesn’t care if it’s perfect! 
I want her back so bad.. 
I leave the door unlocked. 
I leave the lights on. ”

I’ve always seen this gif and never really understood it till now. So heartbreaking. 

this whole thing really fucks me up man

who is this poor man?

Never mind, here he is. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnKZ4pdSU-s&feature=kp

This is probably my favourite poem atm, he was so good at presenting it ugh. Gets me every time.

Reblogged a million times bc of the sincere beauty of this

(Source: edgarwrights)

tastefullyoffensive:

"Some good advice I found in a bathroom." -raym0ndv2

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive

tastefullyoffensive:

"Some good advice I found in a bathroom." -raym0ndv2

Reblogged from sydneyscreams

smartass-fallen-angel:

ten-and-donna:

masukunda:

devourthegalaxy:

sayingnotostatusquo:

alwayscastle17:

dauntless-nerdfighter:

THIS IS BRILLIANT ON SO MANY LEVELS

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

Excuse me, I think you’re forgetting a few people

image

image

image

image

image

And last but not least…

image

OH. MY. GOD.

IT GOT BETTER

It got so much better

(Source: 10doctorxrosetyler)

Reblogged from thats-so-meme

  • baby: d... d... d...
  • father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
  • baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
  • baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*
tastefullyoffensive:

[exmachina08]

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive

tastefullyoffensive:

[exmachina08]

jeankd:

astudyinjade:

A dick with a future

A dick with a 401k plan and retirement benefits.

And a professional degree.

Reblogged from sydneyscreams

jeankd:

astudyinjade:

A dick with a future

A dick with a 401k plan and retirement benefits.

And a professional degree.

Reblogged from itslifesaidshe

(Source: thisisnotafantasyy)

Reblogged from awkward-elevator

awkward-elevator:

Game of Yo Mama Jokes

Reblogged from sydneyscreams

nudityandnerdery:

thegfe:

hidden-ustulations:

sheepoflunacy:

reallifekink:

BEHOLD:
Fake “dom” VERSES trained empowered sub.
Know the difference!
Thanks to LH for allowing Me to post this. 
😘
D.

THIS IS IMPORTANT

True. Everyone needs to take note, just because you identify as a submissive, doesn’t mean that you have to follow through on everything. Stick up for yourself. If something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t.

This is like every guy on collarme

Excellent example of how a sub should handle things. Fuck so-called doms who think this how it’s supposed to be.

What the fuck is wrong with people…..  Or more specifically - this asshole.

photography-amused:

itscourtoon:

walkergirl95:

Wrong Door

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING ON THE INTERNET 

whoever made this-you’re genious hahah 

Apparently Mike’s joke bombed.   Along with the comment above this one.

Reblogged from thats-so-meme

photography-amused:

itscourtoon:

walkergirl95:

Wrong Door

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING ON THE INTERNET 

whoever made this-you’re genious hahah 

Apparently Mike’s joke bombed.   Along with the comment above this one.

merocrush:

Preach.

Reblogged from merocrush

merocrush:

Preach.

(Source: moreleftthannot)